As I sit in my dorm room I’m just thinking about how far I have come. These pass few months haven’t been easy dealing with the loss of my mother.Everything that I’ve been feeling tells me that better days are coming and things re going to be okay..Some days I wonder why God took her when he did ,then other days I thank him for taking her out of the pain that she was in for so long.Although I would love to have her here for so many great accomplishments I have no doubt that her spirit isn’t with me at times I know I need her to be there.So I thank God for that.For all those who follow me I’ve been sharing my journey with you all and thought I update you all as well.I remember praying to God and telling him that I didn’t want to be in the same place around this time last year. Well guess what he answered that prayer because I’m currently at Fairleigh Dickinson University studying Broadcast communications.Of course I wanted to be in New York but i’m actually ten minutes away there and hoping to get an internship out there.I will definitely have to say that God may not give you something the way you want it, but he sure will give it to you. I really didn’t think I was going to be able to keep it together after losing both parents, but God got me through it.Losing my parents will never be an EXCUSE but always MOTIVATION.
March 23,2015 was by far the hardest day of my life.Never in a million years would Ive have thought I would be seeing my mother in a casket.So many emotions ran through my mind in the midst of seeing her for the last time.I still can’t believe that she is gone because I feel like I was just talking to her.She was so happy for what she had planned.I wish she could have fulfilled what all she wanted to, but she got the best out of life.She was so strong through battling Cancer time she would be struggling she still put others needs before her own.There was not a day I remember her waking up without a smile on her face.She was a great woman and I was honored to call her my Mother.Rest in Peace Carolyn Ann Senion❤️
Let me just say I love you. I can’t believe I left this morning and didn’t know that you wouldn’t be home when I got there. Every time I look around I see your image.I know that you would want me to be strong during this hard time. I just want to let you know I’m trying for you.Thank you for always believing in me when I didn’t even believe in myself.I thank you for just being a loving and caring mother.Thank you for your words of wisdoms when I wanted to give up.You were my rock and no one could break you down not even at your hardest times.We know you were in pain and now that pain no longer remains.You know I love you and you fought a great battle.Love you mommy. R.I.P Carolyn Senion 1951-2015
When I started blogging back in 2010 I didn’t think twice about it becoming something that I would love to do. My blog site was somewhere I turned to because I loved to write and wanted to share it with the world. As time went on I got more comfortable with sharing my personal experiences with my fellow bloggers.Not only did it help me but it helped others who also faced similar hardships.I’m glad that I was able to have a positive impact on people’s lives with my writing.Since then I have been reaching out more to others and moving forward with my life. In 2014 I did an event for the kids in my community who were going into a new school year. They got to hear and interact a panel of great leaders making it and following their dream.It was a great success.I currently graduated from a community college and got accepted into Fairleigh Dickinson for fall 2015.I was also offered an scholarship there as well for my GPA. But I will be going there to further my education.I plan to get an internship in New York since I’m so close to the city.I told myself I didn’t want to be in the same spot new Year and I won’t. I’m truly blessed and can’t wait to see what else God has in store for me.
I find it hard to sleep at night when there is someone who doesn’t even have a bed to rest in.While the world is sleep I’m up trying to think about what I can do to make the world a better place.Some would say it’s nothing that can be done but there are plenty of things that can be done.There is a young girl out there wishing that she didn’t look the way God made her. I want to help her.There is a girl out there trying to commit suicide because times are rough and she feels Alone.I want to help her.There is a girl depressed about losing a parent. I want to help her.I know how it feels to be that girl.
When I first started blogging I would always talk about my parents and how grateful I was to have them.I expressed how hard it was losing a parent then having to take care of another right after.At the time it was a lot to deal with , but as the years went on I’ve have learned to deal with rough times better.There have been so many people who have asked me why am I so strong? At times I want to respond I don’t know then I think of those nights I sat up and prayed to God for the strength to deal with whatever comes my way.I THANK GOD FOR ANSWERING THOSE PRAYERS. Looking back on how far I came I would have to say God is responsible for my strength. I remember being at a stage in my life where I didn’t know who to turn to. But now all I do is pray and leave the rest in HIS HANDS.
I met man who came into my life with me having no intentions that one day I may love him.A man who helped me to trust again after losing the only man I trusted.It was more of a mental connection that bought the feelings stronger than I could ever imagine.Being with this man everyday and night gave me a sense of comfort that every girl should have being around a man.I felt safe and that’s what I needed to feel after feeling afraid for years.Now he would call me tell me he was coming to get me and we were going somewhere. He would open doors for me.I remember that one night he walked me to my door I think that’s one of the things that had me really think he was the prefect gentleman.We both had old souls and loved old school music. We shared so many laughs that problems didn’t matter.I thank God that I met that man.